Friday, February 29, 2008

No One Said it Would Be Easy

Well, I got a call last week saying that my integrated screening results came back with an elevated risk for Downs Syndrome. Now I realize that several people have had this happen to them and everything turned out just fine. However, that hasn't stopped me from being really worried and extremely pissed off that I have yet something else to worry about. Why can't I just get pregnant, have a nice pregnancy (with minimal sickness), and then deliver a healthy baby? My dr said I could look at the results two ways (depending on my level of optimism):

a) I have a less than 1% chance of having a downs baby, or b) I have a 1 out of 105 chance of having a downs baby. I'm going with the 1% chance. I'm going for a high level ultrasound on Tuesday to determine whether or not everything is "normal" (I know, what is normal?). I know that I am in love with this baby no matter what. However, as a teacher with special needs children in my class and in my school, I know what a challenge it will be for this child if things don't turn out ok. I guess I will just have to take whatever comes my way. I would rather know ahead of the birth that there are issues than be surprised. This way, A and I can be prepared to make the best life possible for this child.

On the upside, I'm continuing to feel better. I only get sick in the evenings a few days a week. The belly is growing and I'm starting to get second glances from people. I laugh inside when I see them glance down at my belly and then try to discretely look again to determine what is going on. The nursery is painted and I have picked out my bedding. I probably should have waited until I found out the gender, but I loved the style too much. It is called Frogs and I'm not too into pink or frilly things, so if it is a girl, I hope she won't be tormented by the creepy crawlies.