Well the drama continues. We had the u/s today. First off - it is a girl! I was so surprised. I've been certain for the past several weeks that this was a boy. Not that I really care - I was just surprised. Now I'm starting to think - What in the hell am I going to do with a girl????? My mom will be sleeping with a smile on her face tonight as she envisions me getting royal payback for the way I acted as a teenager. God certainly has a sense of humor. Hopefully, she will have A's laid back attitude!

Ok, now for the details. We had the u/s done and they found a spot on the top of her skull that the Dr. explained to us was fluid. She said not to worry, a lot of babies have this at this stage. It usually goes away. However, she said, it is one indicator for Down's Sydrom.e. Therefore, she could not rule out or better our odds for having a healthy baby. Soooo, I had to have an amnio done. So now we have to wait 48 hours more find out anything. Sheesh. The amnio itself was not too terribly bad. I had some bad cramping as soon as the needle went in. After that, it just stung as the procedure was being done. I didn't see any of the needle or look at it taking place on the u/s. I just stared at the wall and prayed hard.

So now I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I'm taking my daughter and going to bed. :)

No One Said it Would Be Easy

Well, I got a call last week saying that my integrated screening results came back with an elevated risk for Downs Syndrome. Now I realize that several people have had this happen to them and everything turned out just fine. However, that hasn't stopped me from being really worried and extremely pissed off that I have yet something else to worry about. Why can't I just get pregnant, have a nice pregnancy (with minimal sickness), and then deliver a healthy baby? My dr said I could look at the results two ways (depending on my level of optimism):

a) I have a less than 1% chance of having a downs baby, or b) I have a 1 out of 105 chance of having a downs baby. I'm going with the 1% chance. I'm going for a high level ultrasound on Tuesday to determine whether or not everything is "normal" (I know, what is normal?). I know that I am in love with this baby no matter what. However, as a teacher with special needs children in my class and in my school, I know what a challenge it will be for this child if things don't turn out ok. I guess I will just have to take whatever comes my way. I would rather know ahead of the birth that there are issues than be surprised. This way, A and I can be prepared to make the best life possible for this child.

On the upside, I'm continuing to feel better. I only get sick in the evenings a few days a week. The belly is growing and I'm starting to get second glances from people. I laugh inside when I see them glance down at my belly and then try to discretely look again to determine what is going on. The nursery is painted and I have picked out my bedding. I probably should have waited until I found out the gender, but I loved the style too much. It is called Frogs and Bu.gs. I'm not too into pink or frilly things, so if it is a girl, I hope she won't be tormented by the creepy crawlies.

I Paid How Much to Feel This Crappy?

Just kidding. I'm still here. And, thank goodness, still knocked up. I've been miserably sick with "morning sickness" for the past month and a half. It is now finally starting to fade somewhat at 13 weeks. My beautiful little baby has made me really aware of his/her presence.

On a positive side, I got to see the baby yesterday in an amazing ultrasound marathon session. I had to go in for an appointment due to strange jabbing pains in my lower right side. They wanted to see if I had a cyst that was acting up. Well, it turns out that it was just stretching pains. However, the office had just received new ultrasound machines and the tech wanted to play around and see what all she could do. Yippeee! I got to see the most amazing pictures of him/her. You could actually see eyes and ears. I am so in love.

Work is going well. I have managed not to barf in front of my students. For that, I am eternally grateful. A coworker came in my room and told them that I was pg. The way she worded it was: Your teacher has something special growing in her belly. It may make her feel bad from time to time, but it is a blessing. Well, my "gifted" student raised his hand and asked if it was a tape worm. Nice, huh? He actually is gifted and I was amazed that a 9 year old actually thought of a tape worm. I almost wet myself from laughing so hard.

I promise to start updating regularly now that I am over the 12 week mark. I've let myself believe that this is actually going to happen.