I just wanted to quickly thank Nicole for being such a faithful responder to my posts. I find your blog posts so thought-provoking. People struggling with their own issues are often inspiring to me. That is one thing I've noticed since I started reading IF blogs. People bring up so many issues that I am going through - not all of them fertility related. For instance:

I'm debating going off of Pr*zac when I become pg. I guess I should give a little history about myself before I continue. Brace yourselves, I'm not known for my ability to sum things up quickly. I have always been emotional, sensitive, and high-strung. I should actually put the word EXTREMELY before each of those descriptions. Even as a child, I was always worried - worried that people were making fun of me, worried that others didn't like me, worried that someone I loved would get hurt, worried that I would get hurt, worried about making decisions that would make everyone happy. I mean I worried all the time. This carried over into me being a huge bitch 99% of the time. Even as a child, I could make older siblings cry with my sarcastic mouth. Basically, I was insecure. I had no reason to be. My family is amazing. Looking back, I don't really know why I am the way I am. My parents certainly never catered to my emotional outbursts. If anything, they completely ignored me when I acted like a brat.

Fast forward 15-20 years and most of my sisters (7 of us) have been diagnosed with some form of depression disorder. I didn't start taking medicine until I in my mid twenties. In May of 2000, I was driving a car and was hit by a drunk driver. My 20 year-old niece was a passenger in the car and she died as a result of her injuries. This put me over the edge for several months. I dealt with panic attacks and insomnia. That is when my doctor introduced me to the second love of my life - pr#zac. Within weeks of taking this medicine, I was a different person. I was still me - just a much happier, relaxed me. I no longer became stressed out to the point of exploding if something didn't go right. I didn't stare at the ceiling at 2 a.m. worried about whether or not I forgot to blow out the candle I had in my classroom.

Needless to say, I have been very happy with this medicine. I know it helped me get through the death of my brother a few years ago. I can't imagine how I would have dealt with such a terrible loss if it was "the old me." My current issue is the unknown factor of the affects this medicine could have on a baby. I keep hearing conflicting reports. If anyone out there has any input on this, I would appreciate it. Part of me thinks that I'll be emotional enough anyway, so why not just go full tilt and pr*zac free for 9 months. I could also just lower my dosage for the time. My RE says it is up to me. He said it is an individual decision. Ugh. I just don't know. I don't want to wait until the last moment to decide.

I'm going to quickly post this before I realize just how much about myself I am putting out there for the world to see. I can always delete this later, right?

Good-night!