Roller Coasters Suck

I hate roller coasters. They scare the crap out of me. I don't like feeling out of control. This whole ivf thing is just one big roller coaster. Last Wednesday, I had a appointment for bw and ultrasound. Well, during the ultrasound, the they saw a rather large follicle. I think it measured 12. The doctor was worried and told me not to be surprised if the cycle was canceled. He said it looked like I may have ovulated already despite being on the suppression meds. He told me not to "worry" and that he'd let me know that afternoon when the blood work was completed. I went to work in tears. It all turned out OK when the nurse called me late that afternoon to tell me that everything looked good and for me to start the stimulation drugs. So, then I was happy. Fast forward to Friday. My blood work showed my levels were still a little low, so they had me increase the gonal.f. No problem. I didn't think too much of it. Well, this morning, I went in for another us and bw. I could tell they were not too enthusiastic with the way my follicles were looking. There were only 9 and they looked pretty small. The doc said that I was just responding a little slowly and my retrieval might be pushed back from this Friday the following Monday. He said not to worry, he probably wouldn't need to see me until this Friday for just blood work appointment. I left feeling a little concerned, but still pretty confident. Well, the roller coaster took another sharp dip when the nurse called this afternoon. Apparently I am a "slow responder" and my levels are still very low. The nurse actually asked me if I was sure that I wasn't still taking any of the suppression meds (bcp or femera). Nope, I stopped 10 days ago or so when they told me to. Soooo, now instead of Friday, they want to see more for yet another us and blood work appointment this Wednesday. To top it all off, all of my previous appointments have been at 7 a.m., so I didn't have to arrange for a substitute. Now, this one is for 8:30. I have to take a half day off and try to find a substitute. As of this evening, I've tried to call 6 different people and no one is available. My boss is already not too happy with me having to take the last 2 days of school off.

I'm waiting for the slow climb back to the top of the hill . . .